I used to think that humanity is evil. I was wrong.
Whenever someone of the majority commits a racial faux pas, others will emerge and gnaw away at that person and their insensitivity. When a religious person decides that we are too “Westernised” others will come and tell them off for being intolerant. Yet, these things continue to happen.
I miss you. I miss telling you about every single stupid thing that happens in my life. I miss the way people would ask me where you were when you weren’t with me because it was a known fact that we were a packaged deal. I miss laughing with you and all of our inside jokes. I miss sending you messages from the toilet. I miss looking over at you and knowing exactly what you are thinking. I miss knowing that at the end of the day I had you, that when push came to shove, no matter how bad the situation might be, I knew you would be there.
I imagine our lives to be a story, with a seamless transition from beginning to the middle, ending at the finale.
Written when I was in National Service in the SCDF as a Firefighter.
I wish you knew the feeling of climbing up 18 floors in full gear, carrying our equipment and running out of breath, but still needing to push on because a fire is raging and we need to put it out.
I wish you could know what it is like to search a home for a trapped family, smoke above your head, inching forward blindly with only your sense of hearing and touch to guide you, only to hear them screaming, then seeing them perched on the ledge outside their house, 18 floors up.
Your nature to all you know.
Your hopes and dreams to your friends and family.
Your fears to the ones you love, and love you back.
Your desires to none.
We all have secrets. What’s yours?
I wish that you know what my brain is going through all the time.